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Your family’s move can be an exciting time for your children and for you. It
can also be a stressful and sad time. Your child may have different feelings about your
family’s move: scared about going to a new school, excited about your new home, sad
about leaving old friends or angry with you about moving.
Every
year, one out of five American families move. One of the most important issues to
anyone with kids is their reaction to the news that they're moving, and their adjustment
to the new home. Being informed is very important to children. One of the worst
mistakes we can make as adults is to assume that kids don't care or won't understand the
details. eeping them "in the loop," consulting them about choices whenever
possible, and including them in the family game plan will work wonders toward their
adjustment.
Other
factors depend on the child's age:
preschool children:
Kids under the age of six may worry about being left behind, or being separated from their
parents. If you go on an orientation or house-hunting trip beforehand without the
children, it's important to reassure kids this age that you will be back; bring something
unique back to them from the new town. It's very important for them to express their
feelings and fears about the move. Give them a job to do -- have them be responsible
for boxing up their favorite toys, and "labeling" their boxes with crayons and
stickers.
ages 6 to 12:
Elementary age kids are usually most concerned with how the everyday routines of their
lives are going to change. Showing them pictures, videos and magazines of their new
home will help a lot, especially if you can find new places in advance for the things they
like to do. If your child takes dance lessons, find & share information about
the new dance studio she can go to. If he takes karate, or plays soccer or
baseball...even if her favorite thing to do is the park or the pizza parlor, find these
places in your new neighborhood and get brochures, pictures or videos.
teenagers:
These kids are most concerned with fitting in. They may react angrily to the move,
even insist they're not going. This is usually due to the total lack of control they
have over everything important in their lives--friends, school & jobs--being
disrupted. These children can be very worried about making new friends, and what
will be different in the new school. They are curious about the clothing,
hairstyles, bicycles, cars, etc. that kids in the new city will have. Pictures of
all these things are very helpful, so if you take an orientation trip be sure to take many
detailed photos/videos of the schools they will be attending.
other tips for making the
transition:
1) give young children an entertaining travel kit for the move.
2) give older children a diary for recording the trip & move.
3) give children of all ages a special address book & stationary set for keeping
up with old friends.
4) take videos of the new home if the kids won't get to see it before the
move. arrive well before the movers so kids can explore and become acquainted first.
5) give children a chore to do, such as working on their room (younger), supervising
little siblings (middle), and painting or arranging furniture (older kids).
6) take a break with the family as soon as possible to explore the museums, sights
and recreation in your new city.
7) arrange a visit to new schools and a meeting with the teacher before the actual first
day of attendance.
8) encourage the children to bring new friends home.
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